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This week's reviewed movie is:
Dark Shadows




Gene the Barber

Snick the Sidekick

Gordie the Barber

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Here's the rundown on Dark Shadows.

Barnabus Collins, played by Johnny Depp, is having an affair with the housekeeper, who is a jealous witch -- kills him and his parents, placing a curse on them and turns Barnabus into a vampire back in the 18th century.

After opening his coffin, he is quite taken aback in the world of 1972.

For me this sets up the family history with too many things to follow.

I thought Johnny Depp is really all that salvages Dark Shadows from completely forgettable muck.

It's not a comedy and it's not scary, but the special effects are fun. 
What a disappointment!

Tim Burton's Dark Shadows starts off as a terrific homage to the world's strangest T.V. soap opera, but quickly disintegrates into a nightmare.

Bad writing is to blame.

Johnny Depp is brilliant as vampire Barnabus Collins, awakened from a nearly two-century imprisonment; but in an effort to clue everyone in on what the original was all about, they drift into too many storylines.

Horror, satire or reimagined?

It's all over the place -- too bad!
The movie Dark Shadows was confusing and it's unclear whether the odd mixture of comedy, horror, and melodrama will satisfy anyone, regardless of their knowledge with the source material.

By trying to be too loyal to Dan Curtis' cult T.V. series, the director and his screenwriters have stuffed an excess of story material into two hours without making an ultimate finding about whether they want the resulting production to be mockery or a tribute.

For those who care about the tale, it unfolds in such a pinball shot manner that it is often pointless and frustrating to follow.

It didn't work for me.

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Gene Allen, Gordy Allen. and Snick Farkas.
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Last updated May 14, 2012, A.D.